When you forgive, you set a prisoner free. And then you discover that the prisoner was you.”– Lewis Smedes

It’s past midnight, I have darkness as my pillow and clock’s ticking as my elusive mantra searching for an answer within me. Lately, I have been receiving a lot of sms’ asking me “how are you?” but this time, I received an offer from Hire Me via PayPerPost Direct!

 to write about:

How are you?

This is a very unique offer. It did not happen by chance. I believe it is the Good Spirit’s way of nudging me to stop and look inside myself, or perhaps,  asking me to revive my blog site.

As I listen to the clock’s tapping sound, surprisingly, it transported me to the music of India.Aire’s “Wings of Forgiveness” .  Now, I have my answer!


There are many sources of pains and hurts which lie within us and I am convinced the only root has to do with unresolved issues within ourselves.

Forgiveness may be the key that would unlock a lot of those hurts yet, why are we struggling with forgiveness? I have two reasons: we cannot forgive ourselves and we cannot forgive God.  This is a gross! you’ll tell me.

However, I challenge you to look deep down inside you. Look at your thoughts, your secrets, your past, your fears, your insecurities, the people you like and you don’t, your behavior. We are afraid of not being loved or accepted if we reveal  our true face and value.

We cannot forgive easily who deliberately and deeply wound us by slander and gossip; a betrayal by a friend or partner; an abusive parent or relative; a non-paying debtor? a rapist or a murderer? We seem to lost our self-esteem. We don’t have that building confidence to move forward and let go. We become imprisoners of our own fears and unconsciously we cannot forgive ourselves. Those issues become unresolved within ourselves. Looking inside me, it is enough to make me crawl in shame and hide.

Likewise, I said it is hard to forgive God. How many of us have asked, “Where is God and what is he doing when good, decent or poor people hurt, deeply and unfairly?” Sometimes life doesn’t seem fair and we can’t figure it out.

A woman prays for seven years to have a child and never gets one while another gets an abortion to get rid of what that woman wants more than anything in life. One follows all the rule of good health and dies of a brain tumor at thirty-five; her friend abuses his body with alcohol, smoke and drug and lives to be ninety. Children turning out differently from the way we had hoped and dreamed, or, one of our kids tragically dies still in their tender years and we don’t understand? There are too many cases of contradictions around us, too vague to accept and comprehend.

This then become another unresolved issue within ourselves every-time we have a direct experiece of “life is unfair!” or “God is unfair!”.

So, how am I? Honestly, I am struggling with forgiveness. I want to forgive completely. I desire to close the cycle of “we hurt, we hate, we heal, we reconcile” in a shorter time.

The last phase is difficult: reconciling or restoring a broken relationship no matter how seriously it was damaged.  I need a Supreme Grace to achieve it. I need to forgive myself to be free for I believe forgiveness will release me from the punishment of a self-made prison where I am both the inmate and the jailer.

Am I doing good?  Tell me.

How are you? Come stai nanetto? 😉

ti ringrazio per questa offerta. Ma come sei molto abile a togliere la mia attenzione da tante distrazione ed riaverla per te questa volta! Sei davvero un buon amico,  sempre pronto a costruire un altro ponte al costo di pagare 😉  Alla prossima volta, metti un po’ di piu’ 😀



If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.” – Mahatma Gandhi

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” – Catherine Ponder

The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise. – Alden Nowlan

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? – Abraham Lincoln

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. – Mahatma Gandhi

He who forgiveth, and is reconciled unto his enemy, shall receive his reward from God; for he loveth not the unjust doers. – Koran

To err is human; to forgive, divine. – Alexander Pope

Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” – Jesus (Luke 23:34 )

Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love. –Mahatma Gandhi

I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note–torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. – Henry Ward Beecher

We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies.” –Voltaire

A mature Christian has capacity to absorb the offenses and weaknesses of others, not just demand they perform up to the code of ideals. –Stephen Crosby

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. –Cherie Carter-Scott

The offender never pardons. –George Herbert

He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.-George Herbert

Resentment is like a glass of poison that a man drinks; then he sits down and waits for his enemy to die.—Unknown

Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively. – David McArthur & Bruce McArthur

A Christian will find it cheaper to pardon than to resent. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, and the waste of spirit. –Hannah More

Forgiveness means that you’ve decided not to let it keep festering inside even if it only comes up once in awhile. –Doc Childre and Howard Martin

Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me. –Sara Paddison

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. –William A. Ward

You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well. –Lewis B. Smedes

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.-William Blake

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. –Robert Quillen

It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own. –Jessamyn West

Wrongs are often forgiven, but contempt never is. Our pride remembers it forever. –Lord Chesterfield

Don’t tell friends their social faults; they will cure the fault and never forgive you. –Logan Pearsall Smith

Forgiveness is . . . accepting God’s sovereign use of people and situations to strip you of self importance, and humiliate your self love. –Martha Kilpatrick

Without deep humility, true forgiveness is impossible…and will never happen. –Martha Kilpatrick

Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. –Anonymous

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it. –Mark Twain

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury. –E. H. Chapin

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.- Josh Billings

Humanity is never so beautiful as when praying for forgiveness, or else forgiving another. -Jean Paul Richter

Forgiveness is the answer to the child’s dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again. –Dag Hammarskjold

We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck . . . But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness. –Ellen Goodman

Forgiveness is the final form of love. –Reinhold Niebuhr

Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness. –H. Jackson Brown

Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. Not to forgive is to yield oneself to another’s control… to be locked into a sequence of act and response, of outrage and revenge, tit for tat, escalating always. The present is endlessly overwhelmed and devoured by the past. Forgiveness frees the forgiver. It extracts the forgiver from someone else’s nightmare.” – Lance Morrow



“One day you will ask me which is more important? my life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life.”             Khalil Gibran

“My dearest Michael, it was 30 years ago that we first pledged our commitment to one another, but it seems like just yesterday that I was standing across from my handsome partner. We have been through a lot together. We have survived all contradictions and pressures from our parents and relatives. They did not believe in our relationship. Through all those times, I can honestly say, I loved you every step of the way. You have shown me what love feels like and for that I thank you.

Today, I want to renew those vows and again pledge my love and life to you. I promise to be there for you in sickness, especially now, cancer is ripping you away from me.  I will always think that you are perfect – perfect for me. I am here to be your supporter, your confidant, and your best friend.

You are everything I need and at this moment I know all of my prayers have been answered and that all of my dreams have come true.  I have been blessed for the last 30 years and I praise God for you Michael: for all of your love and constant friendship. I know that our love is heaven sent and I promise to be here for ever and always. From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home. As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep.

I love you.”

I had the chance to witness this touching pledge of love between two souls who have supported one another in their weaknesses and mistakes in life. Their love is like light, growing dearer towards the dark

I have known them for many years. I have watched them and become a testimony of their love. I saw their struggles against the conventions of society. A long of period of unemployment to be able to stand by and assist a dying partner. I know that their deep faith in God’s Mercy and Love, lifelong commitment, loyalty, and self-denying love are the dominant themes of their long term relationship. They have taught me that true love never gives up, it “never fails“.

How many of us have given up on our relationships or marriage? Unwilling to endure through better or worse, sickness or health, poverty or wealth?

Three days ago after their renewal of vows, Michael died. He did not die in vain. He left a legacy: Enduring love and commitment is possible even between two males.

John showing me Michael’s last note

The world, for me, and all the world can hold is circled in your arms,
for me there lies within the lights and shadows of your eyes the only beauty that is never old.”

made me realize they both shared their last wisdom of the afternoon.


We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken. If men or women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task. In none of the serious and important tasks of life do we arrange such a “getaway.” We cannot love and be limited. – Alfred Adler

Domestic bliss and divorce are but two sides of the same coin, that coin being commitment” – Cheong Suk-Wai

Does anybody really think that they didn’t get what they had because they didn’t have the talent or the strength or the endurance or the commitment? – Nelson Mandela

The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self-two loves existing side by side, until they end in separation. – Pope John Paul II

I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve. This level of resolve can move mountains, but it must be constant and consistent. As simplistic as this may sound, it is still the common denominator separating those who live their dreams from those who live in regret. – Anthony Robbins

When you make a commitment to a relationship, you invest your attention and energy in it more profoundly because you now experience ownership of that relationship. – Barbara De Angelis

You need to make a commitment, and once you make it, then life will give you some answers. – Les Brown

So, before you are tempted to give up or get discouraged, remember all success is based on long term commitment, faith, discipline, attitude and a few stepping stones along the way. You might not like the stone you are on right now, but it’s sure to be one of the stones that lead to great opportunities in the future. – E. James ‘Jim’ Rohn

Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being “drawn toward.” Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal and mutually beneficial relation with one’s friends and enemies. – Carter Heyward

Unless commitment is made, there are only promisesand hopes but no plans.” – Peter Drucker

In life, many thoughts are born in the course of a moment, an hour, a day. Some are dreams, some visions. Often, we are unable to distinguish between them. To some, they are the same; however, not all dreams are visions. Much energy is lost in fanciful dreams that never bear fruit. But visions are messages from the Great Spirit, each for a different purpose in life. Consequently, one person’s vision may not be that of another. To have a vision, one must be prepared to receive it, and when it comes, to accept it. Thus when these inner urges become reality, only then can visions be fulfilled. The spiritual side of life knows everyone’s heart and who to trust. How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out. The message is simple: commitment precedes vision. – High Eagle

I’m doing what I think I was put on this earth to do. And I’m really grateful to have something that I’m passionate about and that I think is profoundly important. – Marian Wright Edelman

Commitment is not the end-all. It brings the beginning of another age, another war, not an automatic happiness. The circumstances under which the choice is made is not predeterminate. Thus the indeed mythical line: ‘They married and lived happily ever after’ should have been ‘They married and may live happily ever after’.” – Marcie Gordon

Whoever said anybody has a right to give up? – Marian Wright Edelman

Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it. – Attributed to Talmud

The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt but in spite of doubt. – Rollo May

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can. – John Wesley

A promise must never be broken. – Alexander Hamilton

Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep. – Denis Waitley

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. – Margaret Thatcher

If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. –Vincent Van Gogh

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. –Mark Twain

The question in life is not wheter you get knocked down. You will. The quesiton is, are you ready to get back up … and fight for what you believe in? – Dan Quayle

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that things are difficult. – Seneca

“Whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do it well; whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself to completely.” – Charles Dickens

Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the ‘right stuff’ to turn our dreams into reality. –James Womack

He who is most slow in making a promise is the most faithful in performance of it. –Jean-Jacques Rousseau

The fear of making permanent commitments can change the mutual love of husband and wife into two loves of self – two loves existing side by side, until they end in separation.” –Pope John Paul II

Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still.”-Robert J. Sternberg

Committing yourself is a way of finding out who you are. A man finds his identity by identifying.” –Robert Terwilliger

I can’t imagine a person becoming a success who doesn’t give this game of life everything he’s got.” –Walter Cronkite

Never, never, never give up.” –Winston Churchill