Archive for Quotes in Can

  • December 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • October 2011
  • June 2011
  • January 2011
  • January 2010
  • July 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • July 2008
  • May 2008
  • January 2008
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • Feel free to browse around... 'RELATIONSHIPS' Category

    Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering. – Paulo Coelho

    Absolutely true Mr Paolo Coelho.  Life is made of choices and we tend to select the less painful.  I consider waiting as the most difficult and painful as I do not have any assurance. It is an absolute trust and hope for the unforeseen.

    This reminds me of a reader who sent me an email after reading my post.  It conveys words of a woman in pain and in love. Pain of keeping secretly a relationship  as letting it out would mean hurting other lives. Living the sting of waiting for crumbs of time from the person whom she hopes will be hers forever. Apparently it cannot be as the person belongs to another before they met and fell in love.  She tried to give up knowing the futility of her relationship but love is too strong to conquer everything. She decides to keep the journey, waiting and hoping one day, at the end of the road, the person she loves will be there, exclusively for her alone!


    Did you find yourself in a similar situation? Did we find the right love at the wrong time? How can we listen to our mind without breaking our heart? Why is love so complicated?

    Sometimes love can be a heart breaking journey. People involved will come from it with deep scars.  Oftentimes, we try to give love a second chance, a third chance, perhaps an endless chance. Why? Simply because, no matter how hurtful love can be,  it is still the most fulfilling emotion known to human life. A life without love is not life. Just what D. H. Lawrence once said: “love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.”

    Then, what makes such a beautiful thing so complicated?

    I would say,  it is because it asks more from us than anything else.  Love can never get satisfied with a partial commitment.  Love demands  full attention and all our energy.  It is not therefore love that is so complicated but mainly us that can not live up to its expectations. We tend to believe that words will make up for our lack of attentions, and sex will solve all our shortcomings. Unfortunately, love is much more than physical satisfaction and beautiful words.

    CHASING PAVEMENTSHow many times did we hear someone saying how hurtful their partner is.  I believe this happens after two people know too much of each other. It is the time when the nice words and the sex can not make up for all our flaws. It is the time when partners do not try to hide their personal disappointments as they do not receive what they expected. It is the time when truth is said to hurt because we feel cheated by love. In reality, love never fails us. We fail love.

    We jump into relationships without being sure of how strongly we love the person, and if we are ready to commit. And when we fail, we just jump to a new one without resolving the issues that made us fail the first one.

    Is love complicated? Not really.  It is us.  We are the one who is complicated. We have so many issues, work related, family related, our differences, our religions, our beliefs, our fears, and all our expectations. By the time we become involved in a  relationship, our mind is so full that we do not take time to think and realize what we are committing for.

    Most relations start when one person feels lonely and needs company, or one person is pressured by his peers to find someone because of his age, social position, family tradition, or simply because one is bored! How then do you expect to live up to something as demanding as love if you commit to it for dubious reasons? Love can only be effective and lasting if it is inspired from love.

    Seeming an imposing task, but yet it is possible. All we need is the right attitude and take responsibility in our relationships. For love to work and produce its wonderful miracles we must give ourself completely into it and only with people you really love in your heart, be it the right or wrong time.  At the end of our journey only three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13


    In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. It hurt when I lost each of the various men I fell in love with. Now, though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it. – Paulo Coelho (Eleven Minutes)

    Love simply is. That is the testament of Athena or Sherine or Hagia Sofia — love is. No definitions. Love and don’t ask too many questions. Just love. – Paulo Coelho (The Witch of Portobello)

    Even if loving meant leaving, or solitude, or sorrow, love was worth every penny of its price.
    I am going to sit here with you by the river. If you go home to sleep, I will sleep in front of your house. And if you go away, I will follow you — until you tell me to go away. Then I’ll leave. But I have to love you for the rest of my life. – Paulo Coelho

    Love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current. For when those walls come down, then love takes over, and it no longer matters what is possible or impossible; it doesn’t even matter whether we can keep the loved one at our side. To love is to lose control. –Paulo Coelho

    Love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to reach out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if it means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness. – Paulo Coelho (By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept )

    I’d like to run away From you, But if you didn’t come And find me … I would die. – Shirley Bassey

    One of the worst things that can happen to a person is to be forgotten by someone they will never forget. – Anonymous

    Love me without fear
    Trust me without questioning
    Need me without demanding
    Want me without restrictions
    Accept me without change
    Desire me without inhibitions
    For a love so free….
    Will never fly away. – Dick Sutphen

    “People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” – Jim Morrison

    “Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.” – Erich Fromm (1900-1980) German-American Psychoanalyst, Social Philosopher

    “We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen

    “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. – Neil Gaiman

    “To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.” – Francois Mauriac (1885-1970) French Novelist, Essayist, Poet, Playwright

    Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao-Tzu (604-531BC) Chinese Philosopher, Co-founder of Taoism

    The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re still alive.” – Orlando A. Battista (1917~) Canadian-American Chemist, Author

    “Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep- burning and unquenchable.” – Bruce Lee (1940-1973) Chinese-American Actor, Director, Martial Artist

    “I love you – those three words have my life in them.” – Alexandrea to Nicholas III

    If you told me you loved me, I could deal with that. If you told me you were walking away, I could deal with that. But, I cannot deal if you tell me you love me but you are walking away.” – Unknown

    “Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could.” — Louise Erdrich

    It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it’s even harder to give up when it’s everything you want. – Anonymous

    It’s hard to take a role in someone’s life when you’re not even part of the script.
    The most painful part of leaving the person you love is that they’ll never come after you. – Anonymous

    Assumptions are the termites of relationships. – Henry Winkler

    Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others. – Stephen R. Covey

    Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with” – Gillian Anderson

    The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands. – Anonymous

    You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you. – Frederick Buechner

    Oh, the comfort – the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person – having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. –Dinah Craik

    Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Albert Einstein

    Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other. – Russ Von Hoelscher

    Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. – Anthony Robbins

    A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart. – Leo F. Buscaglia

    It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them. – Anthony Storr

    How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. – From the movie Annie

    “Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person”. – Wayne Dye

    “You meet someone and you’re sure you were lovers in a past life. After two weeks with them, you realize why you haven’t kept in touch for the last two thousand years.” – Al Cleathen

    “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”- Oprah Winfrey

    “Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust


    Read Full Post »

    For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.   –Alfred D’Souza

    As I lay down on a massage table feeling the soothing touch of a masseuse’s hands releasing the built up stress and tension from my body, my muscles can’t stop singing “thank you” as I let go physically.   Letting go…these words struck me!This is my time to let go of….

    letting go  fear based thinking, “shoulds,” focusing on lack, self-doubt, perfectionism, old stories that keep me in a box, discouragement from others, limiting beliefs, worrying, obsessing about the “how,” scarcity thinking, judgment, indecision, disempowering language, overwhelm, comparing myself to others, etc….

    Usually our own hands are full, filled with tasks, problems and possessions that seem impossible to put down. Our lives are crowded with decisions, plans and dreams. When these plans are not fulfilled, when events do not go as we would wish, or when change comes unexpectedly, we start to cling, hold on and resist. Our body feels an increasing anxiety.

    Sometimes we hardly know how to deal with change or understand why it is happening to us. Our lives are centered around the power of having more. We become very proud of what we have accumulated; money, degrees, skills, friends, information, property, lovers.Soon we are so full we can hardly move, and yet we still search for more. Before long, we even believe what we have is who we are.

    It is not so easy to stop piling up and simply clean out the drawers.With the  simple power of having, the process of attachment appears.

    We become afraid of losing that which we have. Everything seems precious, no matter what. Most of us feel we are our job, possessions, achievements, and relationships. This is how we know ourselves. If we lose one of them, we feel we have lost part of ourselves. But, whether or not we want to let go, life itself decides for us.

    Change comes in its own time, both giving and taking things away. When this happens, we suffer greatly from this sense of loss. We hold on and resist what is happening in our lives – through depression, denial, endless activity, immediately making new plans. By fighting change this way, we are insisting that life meet our particular demands, fulfill our needs and expectations. A battle is set up between pain and fear.

    Yes… a battle, two battles. How many battles and struggles did I try to resist or cling to?Life flows, life changes.  A time to start over.

    Will of the Wind



    The secret to living the life of your dreams is to start living the life of your dreams today, in every little way you possibly can. -Mike Dooley

    Be willing to be a beginner every single morning. – Meister Eckhart

    When the world says, “Give up,” Hope whispers, “Try it one more time”.You have more potential than you believe you do.Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened. – Dr. Seuss

    Don’t look further for answers: be the solution. You were born with everything you need to know. Make a promise to stop getting in the way of the blessing that you are. Take a deep breath, remember to have fun, and begin. – Jonathan H. Ellerby

    Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.Henry FordHow wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before beginning to improve the world.-Anne Frank

    Whatever you do or dream you can do – begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Life is not a dress rehearsal. Stop practicing what you’re going to do and just go do it. In one bold stroke you can transform today. – Marilyn Grey

    Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident, and more and more successful. –Mark Victor Hansen

    Everything is affected by and is part of everything else, changing constantly from one state to another. The rain becomes the river; the river surrenders to the sea and the cycle begins over again. Nothing is ever lost. The melody changes – the dance goes on. -Connie Harrison

    There are some things one can only achieve by a deliberate leap in the opposite direction. – Franz Kafka

    Don’t worry about being worried. You’re heading out on an adventure and you can always change your mind along the way and try something else. – Tracy Kidder

    Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

    A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. -Lao TsuIn

    Baby step by baby step, you have what you need right now to start moving in the direction of your happiest dreams. -Marta Davidovich Ockuly

    The dream and the dreamer are always matched. You could not have a dream without the means, right now, to begin it. -Marta Davidovich

    Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity. -Gilda Radner

    You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you. –Barbara Sher

    You don’t need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating. –Barbara Sher

    A time comes when you need to stop waiting for the man you want to become and start being the man you want to be. -Bruce Springsteen

    When I face the desolate impossibility of writing 500 pages, a sick sense of failure falls on me, and I know I can never do it. Then gradually, I write one page and then another. One day’s work is all that I can permit myself to contemplate. -John Steinbeck

    Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose – not the one you began with perhaps, but one you’ll be glad to remember. –Anne Sullivan

    Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. – Raymond Lindquist

    Celebrate endings – for they precede new beginnings. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

    Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. – Oprah Winfrey

    An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. – Bill Vaughn

    You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C. S. Lewis

    We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.- Joseph Campbell

    Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.- Martin Luther King, Jr.

    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.– Lao Tzu

    What we call the beginning is often the end.And to make an end is to make a beginning.The end is where we start from.– T. S. Eliot

    To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.- Theodore H. White

    God grant me the serenityTo accept the things I cannot change;Courage to change the things I can;And wisdom to know the difference.- Reinhold Niebuhr

    Start by doing what’s necessary;then do what’s possible;and suddenly you are doing the impossible.- St. Francis of Assisi

    Read Full Post »

    « Prev - Next »