There are no kinds of love, love is love; there are only degrees of love. Love is trusting, accepting and believing, without guarantee. Love is patient and waits, but it’s an active waiting, not a passive one. For it is continually offering itself in a mutual revealing, a mutual sharing. Love is spontaneous and craves expression through joy, through beauty, through truth, even through tears. Love lives in the moment; it’s neither lost in yesterday nor does it crave for tomorrow. Love is Now!- Leo Buscaglia,  Love : What Life Is All About,  page: 74

love given-received

I’m in love again, but I’m afraid!” Jasmine, a friend, revealed hesitantly as we were walking along the shore. I gave her a big hug knowing the tumultuous years of her past  relationships.

My gaze hovers past the horizon reflecting about love, hearing its rustle within the whistling wind touching my senses. Our need for love is as great as the need for air or the need for food. We all need love but why are we so afraid of it?

The angry waves hurling against the shoreline gave me the answer: We are afraid of being hurt!!

Every time we give of ourselves, love requires total vulnerability. Every time we extend ourselves into vulnerability, we are risking being rejected, being turned away. I remember a quote from William Faulkner, “if I had to choose between pain and nothing, I would always chose pain.”

I agree. So what if you are jilted, you pick yourself up, you learn, and you go out to try again. No one is incapable of failure or error. The greatest lovers of the world have a lot of love scars all over. Yet, it’s okay because it doesn’t make them any tougher; they stay vulnerable. They learn and they move forward. It’s better to be hurt and alive than to be wandering around suspicious and dead, just like a zombie!

The next day, I gave Jasmine a book by one of my favorite “cheerleader for life”, Leo Buscaglia’s “Love: What Life Is All About”.

LOVE is NOW!”  I told her.

How about you, are you afraid to love?

I’m not! I love my scars…

LEO BUSCAGLIA QUOTES

ON LOVE

A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.

In discussing love, it would be well to consider the following premises;

One cannot give what he does not possess. Too give love you must possess love.
One cannot teach what he does not understand. To teach love, you must comprehend love.
One cannot know what he does not study. To study love, you must live in love.
One cannot appreciate what he does not recognize. To recognize love you must be receptive to love.
One cannot have doubt about that which he wishes to trust. To trust loveyou must be convinced of love.
One cannot admit what he does not yield to. To yield to love you must be vulnerable tolove.
One cannot live what he does not dedicate himself to. To dedicate yourself to love you must be forever growing in love.

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.

Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.

There are those who will dismiss love as a naïve and romantic construct of our culture. Others will wax poetic and tell you that “love is all,”love is the bird call and the glint in a young girl’s eyes on a summer night.” Some will be dogmatic and tell you emphatically that “God is Love.” And some, according to their own experience, will tell us, “Love is a strong emotional attachment to another…”etc. In some cases you will find that people have never thought of questioning love, much less defining it, and object violently even to the suggestion that they think about it. To them love is not to be pondered, it is simply to be experienced. It is true to some degree all of these statements are correct, but to assume that any one is best or all there is to love, is rather simple. So each man lives love in his limited fashion and does not seem to relate the resultant confusion and loneliness to this lack of knowledge about love.

Joy is always an integral part of loving. There is joy in every act of life, no matter how menial or repetitive. To work in love is to work in joy. To live in love is to live in joy… Why not choose joy?… Why not live in joy?

Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love.

The lover must often say, “I love because I must, because I will it. I love for myself, not for others. I love for the joy it gives me – and incedentally, only – for that joy it gives to others. If they reinforce me it will be good. If they do not, it also will be good, for I will to love.

I will love you no matter what.
I will love you if you slip or fall on your face,
If you do the wrong thing,
If you make mistakes,
If you behave like a human.
I will love you no matter.

As soon as the love relationship does not lead me to me, as soon as I in a love relationship do not lead another person to himself, this love, even if it seems to be the most secure and ecstatic attachment I have ever experienced, is not true love. For real love is dedicated to continual becoming.

I have learned that love is the most powerful force available to us. When we have real love we have the strength to perform miracles.

Only when we give joyfully, without hesitation or thought of gain, can we truly know what love means.

Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.

One does not fall ‘in’ or ‘out’ of love. One grows in love.

Loving yourself involves the discovery of the true wonder of you; not only the present you, but the many possibilities of you. It involves the continual realization that you are unique, like no other person in the world, that life is, or should be, the discovery, the development and the sharing of this uniqueness.

A wife says to her husband (or vice versa), “Do you love me?” “Of course,” he replies. “I’ve been married to you for twenty years, haven’t I?” How satisfied would we be if we presented someone with a vintage wine and, asking his opinion of it, he replied, “I’m drinking it, aren’t I?” Love still needs expression between those who share it.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

This loving person is a person who abhors waste–waste of time, waste of human potential. How much time we waste. As if we were going to live forever.

We need not be afraid to touch, to feel, to show emotion. The easiest thing in the world is to be what you are, what you feel. The hardest thing to be is what other people want you to be.

We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.

Relish love in your old age! Aged love is like aged wine; it becomes more satisfying, more refreshing, more valuable, more appreciated and more intoxicating!

We take love for granted. We assume we are all perfect lovers and all we need do is wait and our love will grow and blossom as readily as a flower in spring. Not so. Love doesn’t grow unless we do. It takes patience, knowledge, experience, determination, and every positive trait we possess. In addition, love is always changing and unless we stay aware and change with it, it eludes us.

A life of love is one of continual growth, where the doors and windows of experience are always open to the wonder and magic that life offers. To love is to risk living fully.

I don’t believe in unconditional love. In fact, I think it’s unwise. My love has had a condition that if ever my love keeps you from you, from your growing, and realizing your personal potential, then I must step aside. No one has the right to stand in the way of another’s joy, development, or unique perceptions.

Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life.

He must also know evil, hate and bigotry as real phenomena, but he must see love as the greater force. He must not doubt this even for a moment or he is lost. His only salvation is to dedicate himself to love, in the same fashion as Gandhi did to militant nonviolence, as Socrates to truth, as Jesus did to love and as More did to integrity. Only then will he have the strength to combat the forces of doubt, confusion and contradiction. He can depend upon no on or no thing for reinforcement and assurance but himself.

It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.

A total immersion in life offers the best classroom for learning to love.

The easiest thing in the world is to be you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.

But man has other needs as well: emotional needs. These, too, are few, but every bit as important as his physical requirements, yet not so simple. If they aren’t met, they can be as devastating as physical hunger, as uncomfortable as a lack of shelter, as incapacitating as thirst. The frustration, isolation and anxiety brought about by unmet emotional needs can, like physical privation, produce death or a degree of living death – neurosis and psychosis.

ON ABILITY

Our talents are the gift that God gives to us… What we make of our talents is our gift back to God.

We are all born with God-given, unique traits and skills. But, as with all possibilities they will remain unrealized unless they are developed, nurtured, and put into practice. You may have the “capacity” to love, but if left undeveloped, you will never gain the “ability.”

ON CHOICE

What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.

He must understand that if he is the world’s finest plum and someone he loves does not like plums, he has the choice of becoming a banana. But he must be warned that if he chooses to become a banana, he will be a second rate banana. But he can always be the best plum.

Knowing that one is always capable of change, the second step lies in making the decision to change. Change does not occur by merely willing it anymore than behavior changes simply through insight

I believe that you control your destiny, that you can be what you want to be. You can also stop and say, No, I won’t do it, I won’t behave his way anymore. I’m lonely and I need people around me, maybe I have to change my methods of behaving and then you do it.

ON COURAGE

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.

There are two big forces at work, external and internal. We have very little control over external forces such as tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, disasters, illness and pain. What really matters is the internal force. How do I respond to those disasters? Over that I have complete control.

ON FRIENDSHIP

A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.

Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.

Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in shade.

42 Responses to “SCARS of LOVE”

  1.  

    Never been scared to love
    Even the warm blood that flows in my vein gradually turns into ice.
    Even the air inside my lungs slowly escapes my being.
    Even I have nothing to conciliate my barren soul.
    Never been scared to love
    Though it steers my course to
    Pain.
    Anguish.
    Wretchedness.
    Lunacy.
    And
    Numbness.

    Reply

     
  2.  

    Hello R e q u i e m ,

    Welcome to my site! :)

    [quote post="191"]Never been scared to love
    Even the warm blood that flows in my vein gradually turns into ice.[/quote]

    You have a very poetic and courageous soul!

    Keep it up and best wishes on your road of love :)

    Reply

     
  3.  

    There is a thin line between love and hate. I’ve no regrets passing into the latter. I’m devoid of fears, I feel protected from pain. I feel free!

    Reply

     
  4.  

    kapatidddddd! bumalik ka na pala. long time no talk! here’s my new blog URL, update the linkies. http://bluepanjeet.net

    i’m glad ur back. Tapos na ba ang pagluluksa mo kay sony? hope so.

    Pax Et Bonum!

    Reply

     
  5.  

    I agree. So what if you are jilted, you pick yourself up, you learn, and you go out to try again. No one is incapable of failure or error. The greatest lovers of the world have a lot of love scars all over. Yet, it’s okay because it doesn’t make them any tougher; they stay vulnerable. They learn and they move forward. It’s better to be hurt and alive than to be wandering around suspicious and dead, just like a zombie! – ay great lover pala ako atching? lol… Bakokang na kamo! lol… Kamusta ka na Ross? Salamat sa pakikiramay noong isang araw, sana nagdala ka na din ng Fita at Kape… lol

    Reply

     
  6.  

    hi there! just dropping by. care to exchange links?

    Reply

     
  7.  

    Ate Rose, pagkatapos niya sa libro, ako naman pahiram. Wahahah.

    Medyo worse pa rin ako (as usual). Kung dati e laging heartbroken, ngayon e bitter na ako pagdating sa love. :’(

    I guess mine is the worst-case scenario of being afraid to love. Bitterness seems to be my self-defense from getting hurt, but the painful part is I choose to not to believe in love anymore. (At least for now, who knows?)

    Me misses you, Ate Ross. Stay great as always. :)

    Reply

     
  8.  

    reading through your post is just like listening to Stephen Sondheim’s Being Alive (http://youtube.com/watch?v=7KiXNZ-VrXQ) . what’s with love that you keep on finding it even if it causes you so much pain?

    Reply

     
  9.  

    noone can soffer because love , Pain don’t depend by love but by mind :-p

    Reply

     
  10.  

    For all my friends:

    I will love you no matter what.
    I will love you if you slip or fall on your face,
    If you do the wrong thing,
    If you make mistakes,
    If you behave like a human.
    I will love you no matter.

    Reply

     
  11.  

    Knock..knock…
    pasensya na at medyo natagalan bago napadalaw ulit…

    diwa, sino namatay? wala akong alam ah…

    i like requiem’s poetry. :)

    God is love…”If you love Me, keep My commandments…”

    Reply

     
  12.  

    Kapatid Blue!

    Thank you for passing by and like you I’m doing a quickie stopover on my site too! :)

    thank you for the link;)

    Pax et Bonum!!

    Reply

     
  13.  

    Diwata,

    musta?? natuloy ba yun pag kamatay?? :)

    this is a quick reply…I have no time to hang around the net…

    take care!

    Reply

     
  14.  

    Hello Makoy!

    Welcome to my site…

    I don’t mind exchanging link…my nexus tab says you can :)

    Reply

     
  15.  

    Lil brother Jake,

    I miss my blog too…haven’t got the gift of time for it eh…

    [quote post="191"]Bitterness seems to be my self-defense from getting hurt, but the painful part is I choose to not to believe in love anymore. (At least for now, who knows?)[/quote]

    I’m hoping your line “at least for now” will not be “forever’! :)

    Courage…I know how it hurts and to be bitter :(

    Reply

     
  16.  

    Hi ebudae88,

    She’s a great singer! Thanks for the link :)

    [quote post="191"]what’s with love that you keep on finding it even if it causes you so much pain?[/quote]

    What’s with love?? It’s too deep, mysterious to comprehend!

    How are you?

    Reply

     
  17.  

    Ciao nanetto,

    Come stai?

    [quote post="191"]Pain don’t depend by love but by mind :-p[/quote]

    I understood your english even if e’ un po incorretto come il mio italiano! :-p

    Da tanto tempo che non ci siano scambiato qualche parole, sono molto occupata di niente! hahah Comunque, hai ragione, il dolore depende dalla mente ma la mente manda sempre tanti messaggi al cuore, cosi’ li sentiamo…arrghh!!

    Reply

     
  18.  

    Hello JC…

    how are you?? thank you for your poetic thoughts!

    MY best wishes for your studies and sentimental life. :)

    Reply

     
  19.  

    Hi C5,

    how are you?

    It has been a long time…hoping things are well on your end…

    keep on loving!

    Reply

     
  20.  

    ey kapatid ko, mas mabuti pa daw na ma in lab at masawi kesa sa hindi man lang nakaranas ma in lab…ako? ang dami ko ng beses na nain lab at nasawi pero hindi ko yun pinagsisisihan–at ang pinaka the bes na pag ka in lab ko ay ang pagka in lab ko ke Kristo- kaya andidito ako sa loob ng monasteryo hehehehehe…syenga pala sis ko, may bago na din akong url -nabiyayaan ako na magkarun ng custom domain kaya paki change na lang ang link ko sa http://www.alesfromthecenobite.net okidok?….ingats ka lagi…. that in all things, God may be Glorified!

    Reply

     
  21.  

    solm8 – pagpasenshahan ang hindi ko pagdalaw lagi rito — pero ng makita ko ang post mo with Leo Buscaglia, na-buhay na naman ang pagiging solm8 natin!!

    talaga naman si ross — siguro kambal tayo.

    love the entry.. and sorry for not being able to visit as often as I’d like to… pero you’re in our thoughts – always.

    love,
    chuva

    Reply

     
  22.  

    Rosa! tagal ko nang di navisit blog mo. ahay pag-ibig na naman. Kung pumasok sa puso nino man.. hahamakin lahat masunod ka lamang. Ako.. d ako takot masaktan.. charing!

    Miss you Ross!

    Reply

     
  23.  

    Ciao Brother Dom,

    [quote post="191"]pinaka the bes na pag ka in lab ko ay ang pagka in lab ko ke Kristo-[/quote]

    The best yan being in love with Christ! He will fill you up and complete you like no other…

    Hoping you are doing good and happy.

    Pax and Bonum,

    ros

    Reply

     
  24.  

    Chuvaa!!

    [quote post="191"]love the entry.. and sorry for not being able to visit as often as I’d like to… pero you’re in our thoughts – always.[/quote]

    Thank you for dropping by and letting me know that you haven’t forgotten about the things that connect our separate lives :)

    I’m busy too, haven’t had the chance to visit your famous site :( but you are always in my thoughts din and hoping ok na emotional life mo.

    pssttt…

    ang macho nyan pic mo heheh

    Charar!!

    Reply

     
  25.  

    Angie!!

    long time…nadalaw din ako ng SEO expert heheh, salamat!

    [quote post="191"]Ako.. d ako takot masaktan.. charing! [/quote]

    Yeah, wag kang matakot…kaya mo yan..musta love life mo? pag si mister, lumiko, salubungin mo sa harap :) ng magulat!

    Take care always angie…kalimutan mo din birthday ko ha! :(

    It’s ok, I’m sure you were wondering anong exact date :), thanks sa thoughts!

    Reply

     
  26.  

    so true! lovely post! :up:

    Reply

     
  27.  

    ciao ross,,,
    i would like to share in ur blog the chinese concept of money….

    money can buy a house but not the family
    money can buy a watch but not the time
    money can buy a book but not the knowledge
    money can pay a doctor but not the health
    money can buy a position but not the respect
    money can buy blood but not the life
    money can buy sex but not the LOVE!!!

    Reply

     
  28.  

    it’s true… scars out of love are the hardest to heal but when i reflect about it, i realized that every scar makes me a better individual…. the very reason why i can say… “i love my scars”…
    time heals wounds, but i would rather say that love heals all wounds… love parin, hahaha! ganda naman ng entry na ito po.

    Reply

     
  29.  

    You touched my heart you touched my soul.
    You changed my life and all my goals.
    And love is blind and that I knew when,
    My heart was blinded by you.
    I’ve kissed your lips and held your head.
    Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
    I know you well, I know your smell.
    I’ve been addicted to you.

    I’d spend a lifetime with you.
    I know your fears and you know mine.
    We’ve had our doubts but now we’re fine,
    And I love you, I swear that’s true.
    I cannot live without you.

    And I will bear my soul in time,
    When I’m kneeling at your feet.

    -Excerpt from “Goodbye my lover by James Blunt”

    Reply

     
  30.  

    Beautiful site. Touching blogs. Awesome!

    I’m looking for inspirational quotes and blogs, and by chance got this one. So touching, it reminds me of the story, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HEART where it says:

    “You see, every scar represents a person to whom have given my love – I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren’t exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.”

    “Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges – giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?”

    Probably it touched me because it speaks truth, I’m so scared to love again, for so many reasons, still holding onto memories of love I lost. But yah, right, my life must not stop, where my love ends. It leave my heart with scars, but through this lies the true beauty of love!

    Reply

     
  31.  

    Welcome to my site Mnemosyne ;)

    Thank you for the compliments and I appreciate your efforts to leave me your marks through your uplifting thoughts.

    I wish you heart serenity and courage to risk and love again!

    Reply

     
  32.  

    Love without sacrifices is like a heart without oxygen.

    Reply

     
  33.  

    these quotes are so inspiring ha!!
    wow!

    Reply

     
  34.  

    hello ms. ross!

    been checking some posts in your site for the past weeks and I want to tell you that I really enjoy reading all of them!

    Congratulations!

    I love visiting your site everyday!

    Keep up the good work!

    Reply

     
  35.  

    Welcome Mhaya to my site :)

    I am glad to know that you are enjoying reading my posts even if I do not update it as often as I used to do.

    Your visits are like seeds to my garden.

    Thanks to you.

    Please drop any comments or suggestions. I will appreciate it.

    Cheers to Life.

    Reply

     
  36.  

    Hello April,

    thank you. They are not mine :)

    Glad to hear from you.

    Reply

     
  37.  

    wow. Filipino ang may ari ng site na ito? :)
    Galing. Thank you for the inspiring quotes. Really had a good time reading the quotes about loooooove. So nice and touching. Hope you do well.

    It’ll be nice if you add me po sa ym.
    marry_thwonk@yahoo.com

    Thanks a lot. More power :)

    Reply

    ross Reply:

    @marry,

    Hi Marry,

    thank you. I know this is a very late reply to your encouraging words. Yes, I am proud to be a filipino :)

    I will try to update my site, asap!

    Reply

     
  38.  

    “Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know it’s not for the best. So know how matter how much my heart is going to break, I’ve got to let him go so he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I’m lucky, he’ll come back, but if not, I can make it through this.”

    >>You have a nice collection of quotables here. I’m adding this one because I have been unable to find who authored it. Would you by any chance know??? Thanks!

    Reply

    ross Reply:

    @sadrina,

    Hello Sadrina, thank you for dropping by.

    Honestly, I really do not know the original author of that quote you have mentioned. A lot of beautiful quotes have unknown authors. I am sorry, I cannot help you.

    Reply

     
  39.  

    I like your post. Your blog is fantastic.

    Reply

     
  40.  

    Thank you for posting the quotes from a great writer, teacher, friend, and a mentor ” Leo Buscaglia. I am very proud because it is a Filipino who made an extra to make this site meaningful – touching people’s lives.

    Reply

     

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