Before and after you fall in love: …

BEFORE – You take my breath away    AFTER – I feel likeI’m suffocating

BEFORE – Twice a night                    AFTER – Twice a month

BEFORE – She says she loves the way I take control of a situation     AFTER – She calls me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

BEFORE – Don’t stop                            AFTER – Don’t start

BEFORE – Is that all you’re having?     AFTER – Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

BEFORE – It’s like I’m living in a dream     AFTER – It’s like she lives in a dorm

BEFORE – 60 Euro/doz.                              AFTER – 1.50 Euro/stem

BEFORE – We agree on everything     AFTER – Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

BEFORE – La Perla, Victoria’s Secret     AFTER – Fruit-of-the-Loom, So-En

BEFORE – Idol                                            AFTER – Idle

BEFORE – I love a woman with curves     AFTER – I never said you were fat

BEFORE – Time stood still     AFTER – This relationship is going nowhere

BEFORE – Croissant and cappuccino     AFTER – Bagel and instant

BEFORE – You look so seductive in black     AFTER – Your clothes are so depressing

BEFORE – Oysters     AFTER – Fishsticks

BEFORE – Passion     AFTER – Ration

BEFORE – Once upon a time     AFTER – The end

It's over

Relationships are one of the most complex aspects of our lives. To decide to end up a relationship when you fall out of love  is easier than being caught in the middle. Middle of what?  Between your mind and heart, of course! This is what I’m going to deal now: loving your partner but for some reasons, you are confused, perhaps, pathetic?!

So, are you having this “too good to leave, too bad to stay” dilemma?? Please read on.

I think it is time I let you go, and that is so hard to do because some part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life, but the daydreaming, the running in place .. it’s not healthy. So this is me, cutting the cord. This is me, doing what I should have done eight months ago … saying goodbye.” –Dawsons Creek

“I don’t know if I should end up our relationship”, Gianna confided sadly as we were having our cappuccino together. “Are you happy with your relationship?” I asked her searching for a glint of joy in her blue eyes. She fumbled her fingers inside her bag looking for her pack of cigarette as she answerd with confusion in her voce: ” I am sure I love him but he is always hurting me. He doesn’t trust me. He is controlling my life… what to wear, where I go, what I eat. I feel I’m loosing my identity.”

I continued listening as I stir up the froth of my cappuccino. The sensual bubbles popping in and out aroused  my  personal experiences and memories…where I’ve learned my mistakes and the real facts of life!

Being in a relationship is not an easy thing. It requires effort and commitment of both partners. One person can’t carry it alone. There should be a mutual attraction (physical, sexual, intellectual, etc), respect, interest, compromise etc.

When one of these factors is missing, be ready for trouble.

You might even try to save a relationship because you love the person who is not receptive but I think such attempts will be doomed to fail .  Even if you will succeed, you  will feel a tremendous toll that  drags you down the dumps!

Do you know when to break up? It can be a very dismal area, especially if you have invested a lot of time and emotions in your relationship.

I will try to cite out some points which I think are very important to consider whether to cut off or continue; to leave or to stay.

1. Physical abuse: Hitting. Slapping. Punching. Kicking. Shoving/Pushing. Quick, get out now!     If you are a masochist, stay!


2. Verbal abuse.  Common in many relationships, especially among teenagers. If you are constantly being put down by someone – break up!  If you are too proud and feel like God, then you need this kind of humiliation, stay!


3. No Respect.  If there is no mutual respect in your relationship, if you are disillusioned or disgusted by your partner, the work to gain that respect back is very difficult to achieve.     Leave!   If you are dumb, stay!


4. No Trust. If you do not trust your partner or vice-versa, imagine how many arguments and sleepless nights you both will have. Who needs that?  If you can’t forgive each other’s transgressions, then resentment will gradually replace love. Leave.  If you suffer from insomnia, stay!


5.  No fun together.  A relationship that’s no fun is dead. Leave.  If you are suicidal, stay!


6.  No shared goals and dreams. If you aren’t planning to spend your future together, something’s terribly wrong. Take off!    Are you commitmentphobe?, stay!


I believe  a relationship should enhance your life, not drain it. You’ll do a lot more good giving yourself to someone who’s more receptive to what you have to offer and who genuinely appreciates you for it.

If you’re spending your relationship fighting resistance more than sharing love, you’re probably better off letting it go and embracing a relationship that will provide greater mutual rewards for less work or live alone!

I added two sachets of sugar, stirring like creating tsunami whirlpools in my cup of cappuccino. Slowly, my lips meet the rim of my cup, smelling its rich aroma. Savoring  its reinvigorating concoction, I held Gianna’s hand and  said:

“Unless you have one love, big faith, and endless hope which supersedes everything, no matter what the circumstances are, you will find your answer. But then again, can you love enough to go willingly insane?”

If you are going to ask me, honestly: “I can not!”




The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” – Mother Teresa

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” – Helen Keller

The hottest love has the coldest end.” – Socrates

When loving hearts are separated, not the one which is exhaled to heaven, but the survivor, it is which tastes the sting of death.” – Duchesse de Praslin

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” –Kahlil Gibran

In a separation it is the one who is not really in love who says the more tender things.” – Marcel Proust

“Lovers may break our hearts, but only love can truly heal it.” – Les Vierges

To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.” – Bess Myerson

We are never so helplessly unhappy as when we lose love.”

Let no one who loves be unhappy. Even love unreturned has it’s rainbow.”
James Matthew Barrie

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”
Charlie Brown

“Pains of love be sweeter far than all the other pleasures are.”
–  John Dryden

“Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.”
Comte DeBussy-Rabutin

“To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best.”
William M. Thackeray

“To continue loving someone when there is no promise of that love thriving- that is romance.”
– Anonymous

“Faults are thick when love is thin.”
Jo Petty

“The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it is.” – Tigress Luv

“Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.” – Anonymous

“Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.” – Otomo No Yakamochi

When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. It’s like death.” – Dennis Quaid

Take a second out to think about this: in your life you search and search for the right person for you. Every time you break up with someone you get one step closer to that person. You should look at moving on as getting closer to meeting the one.” – Ian Philpot

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose.” – Rita Rudner

Americans, who make more of marrying for love than any other people, also break up more of their marriages, but the figure reflects not so much the failure of love as the determination of people not to live without it.” – Morton Hunt

Families break up when people take hints you don’t intend and miss hints you do intend” .- Robert Frost

I liked you because you could make me smile. I fell in love with you because you made me want to be a better person. Now that you’re leaving me, what am I supposed to do?” – Lisa Gilbert

And I don’t regret the rain, or the nights I felt the pain, or the tears I had to cry some of those times along the way. Every road I had to take, every time my heart would break; it was just something that I had to get through, to get me to you.” – Hope Floats

You gotta be fair to her. She loves you and if you don’t love her then you have to go tell her.” – Jerry Maguire

Never knew how quickly I would go from someone that you loved to someone you used to know.” –Collin Raye

Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you deal with it is what makes the difference.” – Virginia Satir

The roads of life are strewn with the wreckage of run-down, half-finished loves.” – Ralph W. Sockman

They say love is right around the corner. I must be walking in circles.” – Unknown

I die inside a little more each time you replace me.” -Unknown

If time ever told me that I could only have one last thing to say to you, one final plea to try and make you understand how it is I feel, it wouldn’t be ‘I love you.’ It wouldn’t be ‘this was all pre-destined.’ And it wouldn’t be ‘one day you’ll regret this decision.’ Although it would be heart wrenching, I would look into your eyes and say ‘to love is to find freedom in its truest sense. And I would only hope one day you are able to let yourself be enveloped by the full intensity of that emotion.’ Those would be my final words of good-bye to you. It is only then that hope will have finally faded away and courage would help me go on. But always know a part of me will say: ‘soul wants you, heart needs you. For you I am willing to try.” – Unknown

When these days are gone, when all the love we gave to each other slowly fades away, when your beautiful smile is only here as a dream, and when the words ‘I love you’ are scripts of the past, I will always have the memories that were once moments, and I will always know that no matter what, I got the chance to be loved by you.” – Unknown

Many of us sit in the back seat of life and let someone else do all the driving. That’s okay if you don’t care where the car’s going. To set the course in the direction you want to go, you have to take the wheel. You have to drive.” – Judy Mae

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally

Hearts will never be made practical until they are made unbreakable.” Wizard of Oz

I never knew it hurt so much to lose something you never really had.” –
The Wonder Years

In our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us.” – The Wonder Years

The course of true love never did run smooth.” – William Shakespeare

“There is a big difference between thinking: I’m in a relationship and something’s wrong. Therefore something must be wrong with the relationship, and thinking: I’m in a relationship and we’ve got problems. This is evidence that you are different than me. ” – Wayne Dyer

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