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  • Feel free to browse around... 'ADDICTION' Category

    A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself – to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart. – Leo F. Buscaglia

    “It’s over between us” says Jenny over the phone.”Jenny, this is the 100th time you’ve been telling me that! I bet after 4 days, you’ll be dialing his number again willing to go back on the most demeaning ways, my exasperated reply to her news.

    I will not deny that I’ve  been into bad relationships before.  The roller coaster ride of breaking up and making up was so enticing and thrilling in the beginning. Then, it turned to be like a bad habit and I find myself  hooked with seemingly no visible exits!

    I thought I was in love because I lost my mind. Isn’t it that’s how they defined love: when you feel  going out of yourself to reach out for the other?

    How many times did  I try to defend myself and my partner from my family and friend’s advice to “wake up and bail ship”? To argue that they don’t understand, that my partner is special and I have faith in this person’s capacity to change for the better.

    The inevitable split between us,  is actually a pause. These pauses are the periods when I pretend that I’ve found the strength to move on, or the (in)significant other has expressed a need for space.  The more I try to be adamant  in my decision to end it up, the more I find myself yearning for this (in)significant other.

    Just like all addictions, relapsed catalyst are like lap dancers: they taunt you with her seductive movements,  moving your desires like a whirpool until finally her presence will occupy your mind till you will stand up to reach out for her.

    I wish I knew how to quit you! -Jack Twist

    What is it that takes hold of us to a certain person? Why does this capable and rational woman like my friend Jenny would remain so intensely involved with a man who is consistently rejecting, who repeatedly causes her pain?  Why, when she tries to give up this relationship, does she experience even more acute torment?

    Why can’t we quit a person when it’s only  giving us stress or shall we say, a bad relationship? I see it as an addiction. It is common for a person in a love relationship to become addicted to the other.  I’ll bet one of you will argue  that it is simply love or sense of commitment, right?

    I think  love and commitment  gives you a  freedom to choose another person. On the contrary, when you have a compulsive drive to go back to this person, then it is limiting your freedom, so it is addiction!  The same holds true for smoking, drinking, gambling, etc.

    Whether our addiction is to a substance or a person, this sense of incompleteness, emptiness, despair, sadness, and being lost will find its relief when we are in touch with this  something or someone outside ourself.

    I agree with Leo Buscaglia when he said “a relationship is based upon freedom”.

    Freedom is what I need thus I completely turned my back  away from every bad relationship I find myself in . I  have found a person who will be by my side and never leave me, always giving me the strength, love and support I need… and that person is MYSELF.

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