Reflections on life. Collections of inspirational quotes. Rediscovering relationships and faith.
First, I would like to warn my younger siblings, my Mom and relatives not to read this post knowing I have projected a different image:
I do not want to offend your moral sensibilities. However, if you want to know me more and perhaps learn something from what I have to say, then please read on without displeasure.
“Laughter is the best tension reliever and sex is second. So if you’re having funny sex you’re probably in good shape.” -Mark Gorkin
The other night we were at The Plaza taking our usual “espresso”, listening to a live band’s rendition of “Turn me on” By Norah Jones. Suddenly, Isabella, my pretty officemate blurted out: “I’m having a nightly ritual boring, sex life!” We started gigling at the topic and begun teasing her.
I’m not a sex guru, ok? I am not pretending to teach how to improve one’s sex life.
These are just my two cents.
I’ve observed a prevailing attitude: to overdramatize and overemphasize the importance of our sexuality. How many of us are wondering : “how many orgasms…”, ” how big is my…”, “am I a good lover…” ? etc. I assume our childhood experiences have something to do about it.
We have been taught to be ashamed, embarrassed, guilty and generally uncomfortable about sex. It’s hard to be relaxed about something so taboo we can’t talk about it in public. My premise shows it.
Many of us have been frightened about our sexuality. Some children are traumatized by the overreactions of adults who catch them experimenting, masturbating or even just reading erotic magazines. We have read about news or we’ve learned from relatives, neighbors and friends about children who are abused or seduced and thereby made to feel powerless about sex. While others are frightened by visions of hell and damnation because of their sexual orientations. Usually, children have that idea that sex is something “bad.”
We didn’t learn that sex is natural, fun, simple and a blessing. What would happen if we put in humor and fun into our sexual lives? Perhaps doing a Matrix style where partners put on sunglasses, and dress in black. They then fly around the room and run on walls in slow motion . How about the snob style? The Microsoft style? The Jedi Knight style? The self-actualization style? Oh…there are a lot of styles available in your creative mind and your partner’s mind, use them!
It might just turn out to be sex with more joy, and more love. I’m sure it’s bound to be a lot more fun!
My most memorable sexual experiences are not the most “gymnastic”, the most kinky, the most exciting, or the most romantic . They are the ones with the laughter, even with the tears , the ones that felt as though it didn’t matter what we were doing, because we cared, we were close and in harmony with ourselves and the universe.
Sometimes, sharing a sad, intimate moment and gently moving from tears to lovemaking, somehow these moments become more memorable than when we had orgasms all night long.
When I think in those terms, it’s not the sex that counts, it’s the love. Sex is a marvelous way to communicate love sharing all dimensions of our selves: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
We should all learn to relax and enjoy our sexual selves. We should take away all the pressures like “am I doing right…”, ” we should do like this…”, “it’s your turn…”, “did you come?…”, etc Our everyday pressures or stress from work or school should be left behind when we are in front of our partner.
Sex should be more fun, with more laughter than you have ever known: giggles, guffaws and smiles.
Isabella, I wish you peace and joy: in sex, and in all ways that you live.
Sex quotes to follow…