INFIDELITY AND LOVE

Between infidelity and love, we always have our choice in any given moment.

Where is this love? I can’t see it, I can’t touch it. I can’t feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can’t do anything with your easy words. – Alice, portrayed by Natalie Portman in Closer 2004 film

I cannot help but like the movie “Closer” for its honesty in portraying a dysfunctional relationship relating to infidelity and love. It portrays the consequence of breaking moral laws. Lies and deceits make a messy relationship.

However, a reader sent me an email which gives a positive outlook in all our human frailties. This person does not accept the moral chaos as a “fact of life” but strongly believes that love is more important than faith, trust and infidelity.

I am publishing his email in his response to my post “I love you it’s over“…

“Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.” – Eric Fromm

What is the essence of a good relationship? I guess the greatest need in a relationship would be trust. I mean, there wouldn’t be any developments in a relationship without it. It simply just wouldn’t work out. Without it, everything would mean nothing. This so called “trust” is a really valuable thing. When gained, one should take care of it, nurture it like a child until it grows strong. It’s easily broken, and hard to fix. It would be like going through hell just to get it back, it’s that hard. There are a lot of ways to break trust, one of which is cheating on your girlfriend or your boyfriend.

This is my story… Me, my girl and our relationship. We enjoy each other’s company, no fights! One day, I found out that my girlfriend, the one I trust, the one that I love, was cheating on me. At first, I was infuriated and at the same time confused. I waited for her to tell me, but nothing! Thoughts like “does she still love me? keep taunting me, not telling me that she loves another guy, hurt!

But I just couldn’t tell her what I know, because if I tell her, there will be a fight, we’d break up, and I’ll be left alone. Months passed by, days faded away, the sun rises, then the sun sets… still, nothing changed. I tried to be sweeter and be more attentive. Even after I tried to be a better partner, she continued her secret life with the same guy. “Should I tell her? or shouldn’t I?”

It wasn’t really easy to decide. I’m being a total fool, blinding myself. I already know she’s with someone else, so why keep on living with her? Why keep tolerating what she’s doing? She is not aware of the pain she is causing me. I wanted to be greedy, I even thought about confronting the other guy, but I just couldn’t. That guy was really getting on my nerves! Makes me just want to take a picture of him, stick it to a dart board then throw as many darts at his face! Which is exactly what I did.

Then it hit me. This very subtle, humble and deep meaning… “Love”. I couldn’t take any risks of telling her or even just showing her that I knew because I love her. I love simply because I love. She is not my property to give her limitations and exert my rights as her partner!

I love her… So I just went on with my martyrdom.  Acting like everything was ok, like nothing was wrong.  What kept me going was the thought of her, still being there for me, even though she found another person to admire and love. All I could tell her was I couldn’t lose her.

Infidelity and love

I have died everyday waiting for you…

I know I’m being a fool, a martyr, and stupid. They say people do stupid things for the people they love, it’s true. Actually I think I’m a perfect example of that kind of person but I don’t regret  what I am doing.  Until now she’s still cheating on me, but hey, she’s still mine right? I will love her for a thousand years more!

 

 

INFIDELITY QUOTES

The cruelest lies are often told in silence. – Robert Louis Stevenson

It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving, it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.
Thomas Paine

We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

Let our scars fall in love.”  Galway Kinnells

If you say, I love you, then you have already fallen in love with language, which is already a form of break up and infidelity. -Jean Baudrillard

The nurse of infidelity is sensuality.- Lord David Cecil

When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself. – Isaac Bashevis Singer

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.”
- Samuel Johnson

Cheating is not an accident. It’s a choice.” – Raffy from ‘A Secret Affair

When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on–series polygamy–until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.” -  Tom Robbins

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“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.” - Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

Fuck You for cheating on me. Fuck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Fuck you. This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned.”  - David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary

“It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t coma back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain. Damn, there’s nothing like that, is there? I’ve been there and you have too. You’re nodding your head.” - Henry Rollins, The Portable Henry Rollins

“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast…. be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust…. and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.”

 - Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

People generally didn’t cheat in good relationships.”  -  Emily Giffin, Something Blue

Don’t stop loving me. I can see it draining out of you. It’s me, remember? It was a stupid thing to do and it meant nothing. If you love me enough, you’ll forgive me. – Anna, portrayed by Julia Roberts in Closer, 2004

10 INSPIRATIONAL MOVIES

Movies can provoke strong emotions and inspiration from anyone of us. It brings back train of memories in us. It pushes us to dream, hope and fall in love again.

I want to share these 10 inspirational movies and inspirational quotes from each movie which struck a deep chord inside my heart…what I really want, need, and feel right this moment!

1. KITE RUNNER – Many life lessons and morality issues

Inspirational movie-Kite Runner

“It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime…” – Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

“There is only one sin. and that is theft… when you tell a lie, you steal someones right to the truth.” – Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

“It was only a smile, nothing more. It didn’t make everything all right. It didn’t make ANYTHING all right. Only a smile. A tiny thing. A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird’s flight. But I’ll take it. With open arms. Because when spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe I just witnessed the first flake melting. – Amir” – Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

“Not a word passes between us, not because we have nothing to say, but because we don’t have to say anything” – Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

“There are a lot of children in Afghanistan, but little childhood.”
Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

2. CINDERELLA MAN -Movie about love, friendship, humility, sacrifice and never giving up.Inspirational movie-Cinderella Man

have to believe that when things are bad I can change them.

If we can’t stay together, that means we’ve lost, that means we’ve given up!

3. THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION - Movie about hope and friendship .
Inspirationl Movie-THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION

Red : I find I’m so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.

Andy: I guess it comes down to a simple choice. Get busy living or get busy dying

Andy: So you don’t forget… forget that there are places in the world that aren’t made out of stone. That there’s something inside that they can’t get to, that they can’t touch. It’s yours.
Red: What are you talking about?
Andy: Hope

4. THE DEAD POETS SOCIETY – Teaches how to live “extraordinary” and enriching lives
Inspirationl Movie-Dead Poets Society

“We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”

“Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

… carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.”

Now we all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go

5. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL – is not about Nazis and Fascists, but about the human spirit. Inspirational movie- Life is Beautiful

Guido: (learning how to be a waiter) How far do I bow? I suppose I can even go 180 degrees.
Eliseo: Think of a sunflower, they bow to the sun. But if you see some that are bowed too far down, it means they’re dead. You’re here serving, you’re not a servant. Serving is the supreme art. God is the first of servants. God serves men, but he’s not a servant to men.

Nothing is more necessary than the unnecessary.

6. FINDING NEVERLAND - This movie reminds us that life, coloured by our perceptions, is what we make it; all we have to do is believe.
Inspirational  Movie-Finding Neverland

.M. Barrie: You find a glimmer of happiness in this world, there’s always someone who wants to destroy it. »

Peter Llewelyn Davies: This is absurd. It’s just a dog.
J.M. Barrie: Just a dog? *Just*?
[to Porthos]
J.M. Barrie: Porthos, don’t listen!
[to Peter]
J.M. Barrie: Porthos dreams of being a bear, and you want to shatter those dreams by saying he’s *just* a dog? What a horrible candle-snuffing word. That’s like saying, “He can’t climb that mountain, he’s just a man”, or “That’s not a diamond, it’s just a rock.” Just.

7. AMELIE - it’s about believing in yourself and changing your life.Inspirational MOvie -Amélie

So, little Amélie, your bones aren’t made of glass. You can take life’s knocks. If you let this chance go by, eventually your heart will become as dry and brittle as my skeleton.

We pass the time of day to forget how time passes.

8. I M SAM and FOREST GUMP- determination, courage, and love are more important than intellectual ability

Inspirational Movie - I am SAmInspirational  moVIE - FOREST GUMP

Mrs. Gump: Life’s a box of chocolates, Forrest. You never know what you’re gonna get.

Sam: You think what they think.
Rita: It doesn’t matter what I think. It matters that we win.
Sam: No, you think what they think. You think Sam can’t take care of Lucy!
Rita: Sam, it doesn’t matter what I think!
Sam: It matters to me!

Rita: I just don’t know what to call you: retarded, mentally retarded, mentally handicapped, mentally disabled, intellectually handicapped, intellectually disabled, developementally disabled…
Sam: You can call me Sam.

9. Fried Green Tomatoes- Friendship, female empowerment.
Inspirational Movie -Fried Green Tomatoes

A heart can be broken but it still keeps a beating!

Ninny Threadgoode: I found out what the secret to life is: friends. Best friends.

You are absolutely, unconditionally, positively the most stubborn person I’ve ever known in my life!

10. THE NOTEBOOK- A beautiful love story which lasts decades.

Inspirational Movie - The Notebook

“Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can’t control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That’s what it was like for me. I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.”

“I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..”

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.”

“You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”

“I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. ”

“You are, and always have been, my dream.”

“We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.”

“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.”

“You are the answer to every prayer I’ve offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don’t know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have.”

“My daddy said, that the first time you fall in love, it changes you forever and no matter how hard you try, that feeling just never goes away.”

“They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”

“In time, the hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let it go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong, I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them for fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn’t ever want to lose that.”

“In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you and take your grief and make it my own. When you cry I cry and when you hurt I hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods to tears and despair and make it through the potholed street of life”

“We sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox.”

“She was my dream. She made me who I am, and holding her in my arms was more natural to me than my own heartbeat. I think about her all the time. Even now, when I’m sitting here, I think about her. There could never have been another.”

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.”

 

I hope you will rediscover values and inspirations from these movies.  This is not an absolute list.  These 10 inspirational movies are my list for this summer.

 

What are your list of inspirational movies?

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